Come Back to Me
by Allyson Dark
Summary: Carmen has returned and it's driving Shane nuts, what will happen when she decides to go see Carmen and try to explain what happened? Read on, rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Hello my lovelies, it's been awhile, no? So I've decided that I want to write a Sharmen fic, this is like my first L Word fic and I figured I would do it on my favorite pairing :3 so here you go, I obviously don't own the L Word, enjoy.

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Shane paced her room, occasionally bringing her hand up to her face to rub it as her mind tried to process the right thing to do. "Damn it! What the hell am I supposed to do?" She growled, kicking the wall, regretting it instantly "Mother fucker" She huffed and sat on the bed.

She looked at her foot for a moment before shaking her head and laying back on the bed with a thud. Carmen was back and it was messing with Shane's head, she just didn't know how to deal with it. Bette had told her to grow a pair and just march up to her and make things right. Tina said to just leave her be and see what happened. Alice was still pretty messed up from Dana's death and when Shane brought it up, she just gave her a look that made the taller woman feel small. In the end though, it was Kit that pushed her forward.

_"Honey, you need to go talk to that girl, make things right" The older woman said the morning before as she poured Shane a cup of coffee. "Just go over there and tell her you need to talk, explain things, get on your knees and beg, do something, anything is better than you moping around all day" She said matter of factly._

_Shane sighed softly as she took the cup, gazing into the dark contents with a grumpy look on her face "I know I just don't know what to say to her, I don't even know if I can face her, I've fucked things up so bad" She huffed before taking a gulp of the hot liquid, letting the burn soothe her._

_Kit shook her head, leaning against the counter "Shane, don't think about it, I think that once you get there, the words will come to you, what you guys had..no what you guys have, is special and I think that once you explain things and fix them, everything will be alright, she'll understand, I know it" She said, her brows raised at the slender woman in front of her._

Shane blinked out of her thoughts, finding herself staring at the white ceiling of her bedroom. She huffed and sat up, pushing herself off the bed and out of the room. She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her jacket before heading out of the door.

She figured that if she walked it would give her time to talk herself out of it, but alas after about fifteen minutes of walking, she found herself in front of the familiar house with the even more familiar sinking feeling in her gut. After pacing in front of the gate for five minutes she took a breath and headed up the walk way.

Shane stopped on the mat and brought her hand up, knocking twice before shoving her hands in her pockets, her eyes on the mat below her feet. She could hear footsteps approaching and it only made her stomach tighten as she braced for whatever was coming. The sound of the chain sliding open was followed by the thud of the dead bolt.

She looked up when the door opened and her heart clenched, bringing a slight dampness to her eyes. It had been so long since she had seen Carmen, that all she wanted to do was fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness from this woman, but she had to be rational about this.

"Shane? What are you doing here?" The small latino asked, her brows raised as her arms crossed over her chest. It took all she had not to jump into the slender woman's arms and hold her tight, like she should have done the night before their wedding. She had to be strong, she couldn't forgive Shane quite yet, she needed to know that this would last this time.

Shane cleared her throat for a moment before speaking, her eyes finally meeting Carmen's "I uh..I wanted to see how you were, Kit told me you were back in town and I..I wanted to.." She trailed off, not really knowing how to go from here.

"Do you want to come in and talk, it's getting kind of late and we really shouldn't linger on doorsteps after dark" Carmen spoke, bringing the taller woman out of her tangled thoughts. She watched as Shane shook her head once, as if shooing away a bug before clearing her throat again.

"Yes, that would be...that would be great" Shane finally managed to spit out as she watched Carmen step back from the door, inviting her in. She stepped over the threshold and inhaled deeply, she could smell the woman on everything and it made it hard to concentrate. _Damn it..I never thought I'd miss the way she smells._


	2. Chapter 2

Carmen followed Shane into the living room and watched her sit on the recliner, watching her hands. The latino could almost feel the nervousness rolling off of the woman as she sat across from her on the couch, deciding it was a safe enough distance so she could control herself.

"So, what did you want to talk about, Shane?" Carmen asked finally, the silence was becoming far too much for her. She was pretty sure what it was, but asked anyway, figuring it would push the slender woman into talking.

Shane's head snapped up and she blinked a few times, she had been lost in her thoughts again. "Oh, shit, yeah, sorry, I spaced there for a moment." She cleared her throat for what seemed like the hundredth time that afternoon and ran a hand through her messy hair. "I wanted to explain things..about what happened before our wedding" Shane said, her voice cracking a bit as she cringed internally.

Carmen nodded, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat "Okay, go on then" She said quietly, her warm chocolate gaze meeting Shane's hazel one. She noticed though, that her eyes were more green, that only happened when Shane was upset, now she knew this was going to be real.

"See..after I came to see you, I went down stairs for a drink and saw my dad with some skanky woman instead of his wife and when I confronted him about it, he told me that I was just like him, that I wouldn't be able to stay with you, I'd end up screwing up, that it wasn't something I could control" Shane said, wringing her hands together. "And I got so scared that I figured leaving the wedding would hurt you less than if we were together and I cheated.." She paused, biting her lip for a moment.

Carmen watched her, her face calm as she processed everything. Shane had thought that leaving her would protect her. It made Carmen feel like crap all over again, though now for a different reason.

"I mean, before we got married and I cheated, it killed us both a little and I just..I couldn't put you through that again and at the time it made sense, so I left and got fucked up to numb the pain, but sometime during that stupidity, I finally managed to figure out that I had made the biggest mistake in my life and when I went to go find you, I crashed a car, walked for a few dozen miles and then got screamed at by your brothers, I don't remember much after that, but some how I managed to get home" Shane said, shrugging her shoulders. She wasn't trying to make Carmen feel bad, she was just telling the truth.

Carmen's eyes were wide as she listened to Shane's story, she shook her head and rubbed her face for a moment before getting up and walking to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out a few beers before heading back, handing one to Shane, which she took with a half smile.

Shane cracked open her beer and took a grateful gulp, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand "So, I guess that's my story, shall I fall to my knees and start begging for forgiveness?" She asked, with a slightly joking tone, she really didn't expect Carmen to forgive her.

The latino snorted and opened her own beer, rolling her eyes as she took a drink, "You can if you want, it sure as hell would be a funny sight..but you don't have to, I forgive you, I don't know if I can trust you or if things can ever go back to the way they were, but I'm willing to start as friends and see what happens" She said, chewing the inside of her cheek as she looked at the slender woman.

Shane's eyes went wide at Carmen's words as beer slopped onto her grey shirt from the bottle held slack in her hand. "Woah..I didn't see that coming" She said, her voice low as she set the bottle down, wiping at the wet spot on her shirt as Carmen laughed.

She wasn't sure why, but she felt a lot better now that she at least knew why Shane had done it. The fact that the dark haired woman had spilled her drink only added to the feeling as her tinkling laugh bubbled from her lips. Carmen shook her head and looked at her, a smile on her lips.

Shane smiled back, a soft blush spreading across her cheeks as she looked at the woman in front of her. It was so easy to get lost in Carmen's dark gaze, to feel the pull that came from it. It made her stomach do little flips and her heart to thud hard. _This is going to be so hard..it's all I can do, not to hop over the coffee table and kiss her._

Carmen pulled her gaze away from Shane's, getting overwhelmed by the feel of it and then stood up, stretching as she feigned a yawn. "I should head to bed soon, I have to work tomorrow, Kit hired me back, so you know..if you want to stop by and see me, feel free" She said, a shy smile playing on her beautiful lips.

Shane nodded, still smiling a bit "Yeah, I will, I'm glad you're back" She said and leaned down without thinking, pressing a soft kiss to the smaller woman's forehead. She pulled away, looking flustered "I'm so.." She didn't get to apologize before Carmen had grabbed her shirt, pulling her forward into a hard kiss.


End file.
